my love, my life, my everything
by alixspaz
Summary: buffy and willow find out that there is something more between them then just a friendship.


She sits there staring at me, like im the only person in the world. This feeling should last forever, my heart is full of love for her, and only her. shes my life, my love, my everything. She leans forward and kisses me, slowly at first but as her heart filles with desire for me the kisses become much more passionate. This is the best feeling in the world, its like noting els matters. Suddenly music starts playing, its loud and annoying. I open my eyes and realize it was a dream, she could never love me. I cry silently to myself, thinking that if I was different everything would be better. But of course I cant change, im only me, sad pitiful me… I stand up and walk over to my closet. All my outfits are bright and colorful. They all represent what I was, what I should be. but none of them are me, not truly anyway. I put on my brightly colored outfit and head down stares for breakfast. My mom is downstairs waiting for me like she always is. Smiling brightly at her beautiful daughter. How can she do that, how is she always happy? I can smile and I can act like nothings wrong but im never happy, everything's different for me sense… well sense I became the slayer.

As I walk to school I saw her, her amazingly beautiful red hair flowing in the wind… god I would love to run my hands through her hair. She smiles and waves to me and I shiver. I'm so in love, just the beauty of her smile makes me shiver. But we are only friends, and nothing more will ever happen between us. I wave back and walk over to her. "hey buff, how did things go with angel?" this question confuses me until I remember that I had told her I was going to be spending the night with angel, the guy I was supposedly in love with. "it went pretty well, hes amazing, I love him so much will!" I reply feeling like a horrible friend for lying to her again. But I couldn't tell her I was in love with her, how do you tell your best friend, who happens to be a girl, that your in love with her? It just doesn't work.

* * * * * * *

I smile as I wake up from another buffy dream, I love it when I dream of her. Though, its sad to wake up and realize it wasn't real… I try to look at the good side, at least I spend some of my time kissing her. I get up glad I get to see the girl of my dreams today… even if she was with angel all night. I look at the outfit my mom has picked out for me, its pink and fuzzy, just what I like. I get changed and run downstairs for a quick breakfast before I head off to school. I look at the note my mom left me on the fridge.

Dear willow,

Im sorry for not saying good bye but I have disided to go to florida for a week or so.

Theres food in the fridge if you need it. If you need anything you can call buffy, she should be able to help.

Sinserly,

Mom

That's it, no I love you, no call me if you need help, just call buffy if you need anything. I didn't even know she was leaving. Gee my mom loves me. I eat my breakfast and head of to school in a weird mood, I wasn't really sad because my mom always left unexpectedly but I wasn't happy about it eather. As I arrive at school I see buffy, she looks sad, must have had a nightmare after her and angel… ugh I don't want to think about it. I smile and wave to her, she waves back and smiles, she so cute when she smiles. I ask her how things when with angel and hold back a small tear as she telles me how amazing he is. God I love her, shes amazing… to bad shes with angel. But I mean I couldn't tell her I was in love with her, how do you tell your best friend, who happens to be a girl, that your in love with her? It just doesn't work.

* * * * * * * *

the school bell rings and I watch her run off to class, its so cute how she loves to learn. I should probably head off to my class seeing that it is class time… but im not really in the mood. I consider going home… there's really no point to stay in school seeing im probably not going to live to be older then 20. Its too painful to be around willow all day, it just makes me love her more and more. I decide to go home and think. I cant just sit and do nothing about my feelings, but I cant exactly say anything ether, cause if she doesn't feel the same way it could ruin everything.

"Urg why is this so difficult!" I shout when I get home. " whys what so difficult?" someone says from behind me. I turn around and there she is, standing there smiling looking as cute as ever. "why are you hear? I thought u were at school." I ask her. im so confused, willow loves school… why would she ever skip school? She blushes and smiles up at me be for she says "I saw you leave and I fallowed you, u looked upset I wanted to see what was rong" "im fine." I reply hoping that she would catch on that I didn't want to talk about it. "Come on buffy… u know you can tell me anything… I luv you, your my bestest friend ever!" I guess shes not gonna give up. "its nothing really, just dealing with a lot of stuff and its confusing me." "like what confusing stuff?" "look will can we talk about something else?" I ask, I really didn't want to tell her I loved her, ont yet anyway. "no, Buffy whats wrong?" "its nothing will, really its nothing at all." She just looks at me with that look only she can give, the one then makes me just want to tell her everything cause you know theres no point in trying to hide it. " fine, but don't laugh ok?" she giggles a little shes so cute when shes exited about something, "ok I promise buff, now just tell me already!"

* * * * * * * *

I smile as the school bell rings and I head off to class. I truly love school and everything about it. As soon as I get to class I realize that I forgot my books in my locker. I head out to get them and I notice Buffy leaving. Why is she going home right now? I don't want to spend the day with out her so I decided to fallow her. she looks kind of flustered, she so cute even when shes flustered, how is that possible? As I fallow her home my head fills with thoughts of Buffy. Oh why must I love her. "Urg why is this so difficult!? " she yells breaking my thoughts. "whys what so difficult?" I ask, I kinda forgot she didn't know I was there, I think I scared her a little… oh well. As we argue my mind imagines all the possible things that could be wrong with buffy but I cant seem to figure it out. "Fine, but don't laugh ok?" she asks, giving in to my begging. "ok i promise buff, now just tell me already!" she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. "I'minlovewithyouwillow" she spits out so fast i can barley understand what she said. i slowly decode the fast slayer speak in my head, I'm... in... love.... with... you... willow... OMG did she just say what i think she said?! did i hear her right?! i cant have heard her right, this only happens in my dreams! i think to myself.

i look at her, a confused expression shown plainly on my face. "did i hear that right?" i ask her. she just looks at me, i can tell i heard her right just from the look on her face. that expression, the one full of guilt, passion, and need. i smile at her and walk up to her slowly. i pull her into a hug and whisper softly in her ear "I'm madly in love with you, buffy summers." she pulls me closer and asks "can i kiss you?" i smile and pull back from the hug so that we are facing each other. i pull her face closer to mine and kiss her. softly at first, not really sure of what i'm doing, i've never kissed anyone before. quickly the kisses fill with much more passion, this is the most amazing feeling i have ever experienced. Buffy Summers is my love, my life, my everything and she will be until the day i die.


End file.
